


We put the FUN in funeral.

by Anonymous



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bottom Number Five | The Boy, Caught, Coming Out, Five has long hair, M/M, Married Couple, Number Five | The Boy in an Adult Body, Oral Sex, Secret Relationship, Sort Of, five never left, he's klaus' wife, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:34:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29383518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Reginald Hargreeves has died, his children come to his funeral and discover what happened with that childish crush Four and Five had with each other.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63
Collections: Anonymous





	We put the FUN in funeral.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a fic that wasn't planned for Valantine's day but we are totally gonna use the day for it.

It was awkward, awkward as fuck. Seeing your long lost brothers and sister —Vanya is still dead to him, thank you very much— after finding out Reginald had died.

Diego wasn't comfortable there, memories too painful to even let his guard down, but he had to do this, if not to give any kind of respect to that man he was forced to call Dad, yes to see Ben and Klaus and Five. God he knows nothing about them at all. He lost contact so long ago.

He got inside, seeing Luther, Allison, Klaus, Ben, Seven, but not Five.

"Where's the motherfucker?" His only reason to come here and revive these memories was because of them, to see his family, yes even the back stabbers, she's part of the family after all.

Klaus seemed to lighten up almost immediately. Getting his attention out of the ashes of their father.

"He was busy working, he should be here in—" he checked his clock, an expensive clock he must say, too expensive, his brother has expensive tastes yes, but Diego doesn't thinks he could afford it. Klaus chuckled. "In five, don't worry, I'm sure he knows the way back"

"We should start, get this over with. Besides I don't think Five would mind" Ben's voice sounded, ready to walk out of the house.

"Let's do it in his favorite spot" Luther said to which Allison nodded

"Lead the way" number three mumbled

.  
.  
.

Allison sighed while looking at her brothers fight, Ben rolled his eyes and smiled at her, "like old times" his mouth forming the words then, she sees his eyes open, his mouth too, and he covers it.

She doesn't gets it, it worries her. Her gaze moves, Diego and Luther stopped fighting too, they seemed in shook. Which is weird as a concept alone, they don't usually get disturbed easily when they get into a fight.

Curiosity is killing her, so she turns and... Klaus is... kissing, no, making out with someone, his hand is squeezing that poor guys ass, she's so sure he heard the guy moan.

"Klaus!! C'mon you can't just—" her words get stuck in her lips when she saw who was her bother kissing "Five? what the—" but her brother was quicker, letting go of Klaus' lips to say out loud.

"Sorry for being late, my husband wanted some cake" he raised a bag with a little drawing of a cake in it.

"Shit"

.  
.  
.

"Wait, wait wait hold on, hold a fucking second. What the fuck?" Ben had never been a man who used insults, mom raised him better than that, but this, this threw him off. Sure he had seen them share kisses when they were little. Like that one time they all were eight and thought that kisses were the grossest thing ever, so Diego challenged Five to kiss Klaus, the surprise everyone had when Five didn't even hesitate before kissing Klaus on the lips instead of the cheek, was palpable. 

"What? Something's wrong?" Klaus, the son of a bitch, asked with Five sat on his lap, Five was playing with Klaus' hair, straighting it just to see it bounce to it's normal shape, just like when they were kids.

"YES!!"  
"Everything is wrong!"

And Five laughed, Ben doesn't remembers when was the last time he heard his brother laugh.

"We're just married is not such a big deal"  
"Are you kidding me?"Vanya's voice sounded angry, mad, like all of those times Klaus would eat her dessert "Not a big deal? You got married! And I wasn't even invited!"  
And yeah, that's fair, she could be mad about it.

"Exactly!!" Ben's scream sounded way too loud, the rest of their siblings saying similar things.

"Guys, guys! C'mon! I bet you wouldn't even had come!" Klaus screamed.

"Of course we'll have gone!!"Diego's voice broke a little at the end, it made klaus feel guilty and Five hold Klaus' shoulder hard, his way of showing how that made him uncomfortable.

"It's not like we planned it, anyway" his wife said (because Klaus loves to think about five as his wife, pretty and strong, just waiting, maybe cooking something, until he came home and he could pin Five in the kitchen counter and fuck him to oblivion, even if he is the one who stays at home), trying not to look at their siblings and Klaus thought he looked cute with his hair covering his eyes on purpose.

"What do you mean you didn't planned it! It's a wedding! You have to plan it" Allison said she sounded close to breaking something.

Five cleared his throat, and began to explain.

"Since we were little, there was been this attraction, something that pulled us together." Five started to explain, Klaus' hand holding his, really delicately "I thought I was just interested in Klaus, in how his mind works, but soon enough..." And now Klaus was kissing his nuckles, enjoying the clear declaration of love "That interest, turned into a need, a need to know what was going with him, to know if maybe he thought about me, and turns out, he does, quite frequently"

"I went to his room a day and suddenly, I was on top of him, pushing my tongue inside of his mouth" Klaus haven't stopped looking at Five for the whole time he talked, Five's face was starting to get red, he looked so cute Klaus' didn't stopped himself and kissed him, quick and sweet, like a promise for more.

"And then we were eighteen, going out of the academy, running, still with our uniforms to the closest place were we could marry"

"Turns out you need witnesses"

"Lucky us a really sweet grandma had time in her schedule"

"And the guy who sells hot dogs charged us 20, but we did it"

"It's not that easy, it's a really long process and—"

"Ally, we did it when we were still famous, people pulled some strings"

"So we're so sorry you weren't invited to our wedding but things like this happen"

"Yeah, it's not because we don't love you guys or anything" her brothers are so fucking shameless, or at least Klaus is, because he knows they can see his hand going to Five's ass an cup his cheek, her other bother squeaked.

"They didn't you know, said anything because well... Brothers..."

"Hmm? Oh, definitely"  
"Five threatened them into marrying us, isn't he the cutest?"

Luther didn't thought so, don't get him wrong he does love his brother but also knows how terrifying he could be, has been in the end of his fury enough times, so he just chuckled and tried to ignore the kissing noises that started to sound.

"As long as you don't fuck in my room" Diego's voice sounded and Luther choked on his spit.

.  
.  
.

The funeral was weird, her brother, the only one she wants to talk to, came late and so she can't have a word with him. Then she discovers that two of his brothers are married, and there's an interrogation and she can't this is too much.

Vanya left the room, not wanting to get overwhelmed, not today when her family seemed in a good enough mood to talk with her.

The ceremony continued, just as weird as how it started. With everyone shouting while kisses and wet sounds sounded in the back, Five's whines also in the back.

And then, she lost them. Haven't seen Klaus or Five in a while, so she started to look everywhere, and she means EVERYWHERE, until the last place, dad's office, a place that nobody should have entered.  
There were weird wet sounds coming from the room, sounding so much like slurping, she should have gone back but again this could be her last chance and what's the worst she could see, Klaus making out with her favorite brother?

She opened the door and saw, ahe saw his favorite brother, the one who always treated her good on his knees, in front of his other brother, but then klaus said... and she screamed.

.  
.  
.

Klaus was way too loud, has always been but when his wife had his mouth completely open for him and shallowed him all, his eyes were closed hard while he was on heaven, Five's mouth is perfect, because Five didn't gag, not since he was 15.

He gripped Five's hair harder, pushing him until he felt those plump lips against his pelvis, he moaned again "yes, yes, yes just like that, ugh, such a good bitch" he came right there just as a scream sounded. He opened his eyes, gaze going up, just to find Vanya and looking horrified.

Five protested, wanting to see who screamed, pushing against his hip almost all of Klaus' cock out of his mouth "oh no, not until you shallow everything" Four didn't like that so he gripped his hair and made him go back to his dick.

"Why did you, screamed? What's going on?" Allison asked her sister worried about her.  
"They were, they..."

Five laughed with his dick still inside, making him feel funny.

"Hey! Don't laugh with my dick inside your mouth" klaus let go of Five's hair, and his wife pulled his dick, he still had some cum on his tongue, showing it off, and Klaus just knew what he wanted, the thing is Number Four is weak when it comes to Five.

Klaus was happy to put himself in his pants again, just so he could crouch at the same height that Five, and then he kissed him, wet and practically licking his cum out of Five's mouth, another scream bit this time with a hit to his head could be heard.

Five laughed, enjoying his suffering.

"Allison c'mon, he were just having fun" his voice sounded hoarse, and he loved it, it was a reminder of his husband size inside his throat.

She screeched, something about needing to learn control so she could come with Claire next.

This wasn't how they planned to tell their siblings that they are married... But they could manage.

"Nonono, you know what we need?"

"What?"

"We totally need to fuck in Diego's room now"

"Klaus!"


End file.
